2011 Men's Conference- Covenant

Last weekend, I (Kel) had the opportunity to go to the men's conference that our church has each year.  J.R. Vassar, pastor at Apostles Church in New York City, was the speaker again and the Lord really taught me a lot through J.R.'s teaching as he focused on image versus essence and consumerism versus covenant.  Below are some of the things J.R. hit on:

• Cultural images try to portray what a "real man" is supposed to look like through things like advertising, movies, etc. and this is approach is an outside-in one, meaning if one changes what he looks like on the outside then he will become a "real man."  Most men are sucked into the form that culture has portrayed instead of what God has called men to be, which is the true essence of manhood.
• Many of us buy into consumerism with the hope that we can establish an acceptable identity and portray a certain image, whatever that may be (successful businessman, owning a large house, appearing to have it all together, etc.).  We desire to be visible or noticed by those around us and we want to feel valued by those same people (fear of man).  But there are consequences if I buy into the culture's image, one of those being that my wife will be further enslaved to try to fit the image culture pushes on her because I expect her to look a certain way.  As men, we must focus on building His kingdom and not our own because it will ruin us, our wife, our kids, and others around us.  A lifestyle that chases after empty things is like, as J.R. put it, "a sports car without anything under the hood."
• Men are created to relate to the trinitarian God but sin shattered that perfect relationship with God in the Garden of Eden and consequently alienated us from Him.  However, everything that was ruined with Adam is restored in the person and work of Jesus Christ.   As believers, we don't have to try to architect an identity.  We simply receive the identity that comes from Christ when we are saved by grace and through faith.  Part of that process is abandoning and rejecting the images of culture and embracing what the Bible defines as manhood by looking to Christ as the ultimate example of a man.  Essentially, there must be repentance from trying to find our identity in how the world defines a man and God desires to see the image of Christ restored in me through the power of the Holy Spirit.  This process does require effort and it cannot be done by sitting around.  As Dallas Willard puts it, "The path of spiritual growth in the riches of Christ is not a passive one.  Grace is not opposed to effort.  It is opposed to earning.  Effort is action.  Earning is attitude."  There must be a dying to sin and self on a daily basis and that means cutting out certain things in my life. 
• I cannot live by cravings much like Esau did, rather I must live by conviction.  I must consider that I am forging a character that will determine my legacy and think about how my actions will affect those around me.  In contrast to Esau, Jesus lived by His convictions when he was tempted in the desert and again He is the primary example of a man that we look to.  He was a man of covenant by the power of the Holy Spirit so He could be obedient to His Father.  If Jesus had to walk in the power of the Spirit and He is God, then how much more do I need to rely on the Holy Spirit in my walk with Christ?  This idea of covenantal living is difficult for many men because we want a minumum commitment with a maximum return.  Many times, when we have given a maximum commitment to something and see little return we want to bail out.  Christ didn't do that with us though.  He gives us the maximum amount of love, grace, etc. knowing that our return will be small, if anything at all.  For men, covenantal living means being a man of the house and not running to things that are meaningless and waste our time.  My focus has to be on the spiritual health and growth of my family and as I embrace this responsibility I become more competent in that area.
• I must have a vision for what it looks like for me to be totally conformed to Christ's image.  How would different areas of my life (marriage, relationship with co-workers, how I handled my finances, etc.) flourish if I really looked like Christ?  There are different means I can use in pursuing Christ in this way and some of them include relying on the power of the Holy Spirit, spending time in prayer and the Word, authentic community with other believers, fasting, spending time in silence before the Lord, and many others. 
• John is a great example of a man who found his identity in Christ.  He was labeled, "the one who Jesus loved" or "the disciple who Jesus loved."  This was the essence of his being and the most important thing about him.  In John 13:22, we get a picture of how intimate John was with Jesus, "One of his disciples, whom Jesus loved, was reclining at table close to Jesus."  John was always close to Jesus and desired to be near Him.